Oh, so I was bored watching football over at my in-laws so I picked up Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey and started reading. This one made me laugh out loud and I was literally crying for like 5 minutes!
"Laurie got offended when I used the word puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like."
Another favorite:
"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is, "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is, "Probably because of something you did.""
:)
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